From my office, out through the perfectly square window across a pair of city blocks, a green-glass-sheathed building exposes its structure like a shy showgirl earning a dollar. It is a projection of an assembly line onto the city skyline, repetition, each window, all 4000 panes, the same, each floor vamping with furniture and hung drywall over the same layout of steel support through 30 stories.
When I first moved here, this building was in the early stages of construction. I’ve enjoyed watching it grow into the city with me, but now I look at its uniformity…
I saw and see moving to this place as an opportunity to start engaging the world in a way that I simply haven’t for the last 5 (or maybe 27) years. But days wear on, and I find myself with new habits, the projection of a steady job onto a human timeline. Every day: wake up, ride the train, peer at or slightly over a monitor depending on my mood, some time in the gym before heading home, dinner, some time on the web, sleep, with an occasional concert or bar thrown in. I make it sound so boring, but it’s an altogether pleasant life, and I love that I can live it without any worries.
But loving is not synonymous with wanting, and I don’t want what I have anymore, so I’m going to trade it all in for something different. I haven’t decided what, exactly, but that will come soon enough.
Are you going to become a drifter? I have a friend who never stays in one place longer than two or three years. She was recently living in London and just this week she traveled by train and bus to Thailand where she plans on staying now for the next phase. Have you caught the travel bug too? I guess if you own your own (successful) business you’ll be able to make your own hours and start globetrotting too.
Posted by chinkerfly on 17 September 2008 @ 6am